Monday, April 28, 2008

Engineer says

Engineer says: A number of different approaches are being tried.
Engineer means: We are still grasping at straws.

Engineer says: We're working on a fresh approach to the problem.
Engineer means: We just hired three kids fresh out of university.

Engineer says: Close project co-ordination.
Engineer means: We know who to blame.

Engineer says: Major technological breakthrough.
Engineer means: It works OK, but looks very hi-tech.

Engineer says: Customer satisfaction upon delivery is assured.
Engineer means: We are so far behind schedule that the customer is happy to get it delivered.

Engineer says: Preliminary operational tests were inconclusive.
Engineer means: The darn thing blew up when we threw the switch.

Engineer says: Test results were extremely gratifying.
Engineer means: We are so surprised that the stupid thing works.

Engineer says: The entire concept will have to be abandoned.
Engineer means: The only person who understood the thing quit.

Engineer says: It is in process.
Engineer means: It is so wrapped up in red tape that the situation is hopeless.

Engineer says: We'll look into it.
Engineer means: Forget it! We have enough problems for now.

Engineer says: Please read and initial.
Engineer means: Let's spread the responsibility for the mistake.

Engineer says: Give us the benefit of your thoughts.
Engineer means: We'll listen to what you say as long as it doesn't interfere with what we've already done.

Engineer says: Give us your interpretation.
Engineer means: I can't wait to hear this!

Engineer says: See me/Let's Discuss.
Engineer means: Come into my office, I'm lonely.

Engineer says: All new!
Engineer means: Parts not interchangeable with the previous design.

Engineer says: Rugged.
Engineer means: Too heavy to lift!

Engineer says: Lightweight.
Engineer means: Lighter than rugged.

Engineer says: Years of development.
Engineer means: One finally worked.

Engineer says: Energy saving.
Engineer means: Achieved when the power switch is off.

Engineer says: Low maintenance.
Engineer means: Impossible to fix if broken.

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